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Dear Liz,
I am feeling so deflated. I had three incredible interviews over the past four weeks with a great firm. I almost felt like I was part of the team because they were so welcoming and happy to talk with me. The CEO said at one point “I can see you running even a larger slice of our business than this job entails — over time.”
Then after three fantastic interviews the recruiter Patrick told me “They like you a lot, but they’re going to bring in some more candidates to interview.” I was pretty taken aback and pretty angry. I’m not even sure I want the job any more. What was lacking in me that made them want to meet more candidates?
Should I wait while they interview those people (I don’t think they have more candidates to interview, so they’re going to have to find some) or just drop out of the process?
Thanks Liz,
Gabbie
Dear Gabbie,
Don’t despair! They met you, they loved you and they all thought “Wow! This Gabbie is incredible.” Then, the most fearful member of the leadership team said “Wait a sec. We interviewed a bunch of candidates for this job before, and not one of them was even in the same league with Gabbie.
“Maybe we were looking at the wrong people. Maybe we need to rewrite the job ad and re-post it. There might be other candidates out there who are just as good as Gabbie is, but cheaper!”
That’s a perfectly sound logical argument, but in the real world things don’t stand still. They keep moving. There is no reason whatsoever for you to hang out and wait for the employer to interview more candidates.
Call your hiring manager directly and tell them “I understand you’re interested in seeing more candidates for the position we’ve been discussing. As you can imagine, I only take job offers from people for whom it is clear that I am the right fit — and I have to feel the same way, of course.
“I completely understand if you don’t feel certain that I am your best hire, and in that case I will bow out of the recruiting process. If you’d like to make me a job offer this week, then let’s talk about that.”
There is only one way to grow your muscles, and that is to use them. Your vocal cords are muscles (or ligaments — close enough!) and you need to use them if you want them to get stronger. No employer will ever love you more than they love you when they are about to hire you. Tell them to drop the ridiculous search for a low-cost version of Gabbie and make you an offer, or head for the exit.
You’ll make the right decision, whichever way you go!
All the best,
Liz
Liz Ryan is the CEO and founder of Human Workplace. Follow her on Twitter and read the rest of her Forbes.com columns here.
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